


this day and age

by IzzieBee



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cuties, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Karolina POV, Nico POV, On the Run, Post 1x10, Post-Canon, Team Dynamics, Team as Family, The White Van
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-03-05 03:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13379325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzzieBee/pseuds/IzzieBee
Summary: Karolina needs stitches (and to make Nico ｂlush)OrThe team is on the run, and they are all just doing there best.





	1. can we climb this mountain (i don't know)

They were not longer runaways, they were on the run. She hadn’t known the difference when she was safe and happy (ignorant, but happy) in Brentwood.

She knew the difference now, and so did her friends (or should she say her team? It sounded like she was talking about little league, this was all so freaking weird.) That didn’t stop them from acting like teenagers (maybe children as the case may be) all the freaking time. 

“We are not leaving behind Gert’s dinosaur-” Karolina had her hands up, trying to placate an argument that had been raging between Gert and Alex, and that was just getting more and more heated (and loud, so, so loud). 

Being on the run wasn’t so bad. She didn’t have to go to church (which had lost its appeal after seeing her mom try to murder a pershiner), she got to be with her friends and Nico. She liked braiding Molly’s hair, and listening to Gert rant about whatever was on the radio (political or musical). She liked waking up and smelling sea salt, or eucalyptus, and she could pretend they were camping, and that their parents being serial killers was all a horrible, terrible nightmare.

Now, hey were in the mountains, the smell of fresh water and pine, standing in front of a beautiful cabin. She wanted to be hiking or making out with Nico the in a hammock that was hanging a few feet away, not playing referee for two other seventeen year olds, who were now just rehashing the same fight they had already had a dozen times. 

“Old Lace-” Gert corrected.

“Right,” Karolina amended, fighting the urge to roll her eyes, “Old Lace.”

They had just barely escaped from their parents, who had tracked them down from a local police tip off in Stockton; now they were hiding out in vacant vacation cabin near Lake Tahoe, and despite everything they had just been through, they were still having this argument. The points never changed, Gert needed Old Lace, and the rest agreed she was an asset, while Alex thought she was a tactical risk. 

He was outvoted, again, she didn’t know why he couldn’t just drop it.

(Sure Old Lace, ate up there dwindling food budget, but you don’t look a gift dinosaur in the mouth.)

Alex was always the man with the plan, which was great and had helped keep them alive. It didn’t make him great with compromise. He was in an especially bad mood today, he had seen his father when they escaped (none of them did well when they glimpsed there parents, even now it hurt Karolina in a place she didn’t know existed.)

“Even if she didn’t make Gert happy, we have a freaking dinosaur,” Nico piped in, she had been trying to help placate, but she wasn’t quite as… diplomatic, as Karolina was.“ I think we should use an advantages we can get.”

“Of course you are taking her side,” Alex muttered, looking pointedly between Nico and Karolina. 

“What did you say,” Nico turned her head so fast Karolina was worried she would hurt herself, “Say it again Wilder-”

Nico and Alex were doing better than they were, but she was still raw from the betrayal. The thought turned Karolina’s stomach, she really wanted everyone to get along and focus on the task at hand (but the thought of Alex lying to Nico about her sister made her so angry-)

“Karolina are you Ok?” Gert interjected, her face suddenly ghostly white. 

“Why wouldn’t I be,” Karolina furrowed her brow, “I don’t love it when you guys fight, and I have a headache from the yelling-”

“Your bleeding.” Karolina looked down, and sure enough there was a blood stain the size of a silver dollar on her shirt, and it was growing. 

“Shit,” Gert said, “You must have ripped your stitches, how did you not feel that?”

Karolina shrugged. 

“Adrenalin?” Nico glared at Alex as she said that, as though it was his fault (which it wasn’t, but she wasn’t always rational when it came to him).

“Nico,” Karolina said quietly, Nico turned to her, looking guilty. She sighed, she didn’t want her to feel guilty, but getting mad at Alex wasn’t going to help either. 

“I’ll patch you up,” Nico muttered, “Let’s go inside.”

Nico weaved her arm, carefully around Karolina, careful not to touch her wound on her side. She was suddenly thankful for the support, her legs feeling more wobbly by every passing second. 

“Can you guys table this fight for latter,” Karolina called out to Gert and Alex, before they could start arguing again; she started to feel queasy, even as Nico helped her walk inside, “Or finish the fight before you guys come inside?”

“We are done arguing,” Gert said, she turned at looked at Alex, “Right?”

Alex looked appropriately mollified, and he nodded mutely. 

“Great,” Nico muttered, “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

The cabin had a big front room, the kitchen melding into the living room, with wood floors, and wooden paneled walls, Karolina leaned awkwardly against the back of the couch when they walked inside. She wasn’t sure how she missed ripping her stitches, her side was now smarting like a mother-

“Take your shirt off,” Nico said, her voice low; she must have not realizing the implications of what she just said, but Karolina sure did.

“Buy a girl dinner first,” Karolina teased, even as she gritted her teeth from the pain. 

Nico blushed and it was so pretty and so incongruous with the whole vibe she always tried to put out, she was kind of obsessed (it was like Nico was both the goth girl, tougher than nails, and the girl who blushed when Karolina said anything remotely suggestive, and she was the only one who got to see both, who got to see Nico in her entirety). 

“I need to see how bad it is,” Nico said, the blush still on her cheeks.

Karolina, with Nico’s help (god she was sore, and not even the good kind), took off her t-shirt, leaving her in a sports bra and leggings. She always wanted to make Nico blush, or blush more, turn her cheeks from pink to red, like after they had kissed for hours and were both so out of breath, it was like they had run a marathon. 

Those moments when they just laid there, giddy to be sharing the same space, were her favorite, (being with Nico was her favorite thing, Nico was her favorite, favorite everything).

Karolina smiled, as she adjusted herself, still leaning on the couch, so Nico could look at her wound.

“You look cute in my flannel,” Karolina added, tugging on the hem, soft from hundreds of washes before she bought it, “It’s not fair, it looks sexy on you-”

“You just ripped a couple stitches,” Nico’s cheeks were red now, mission totally accomplished, “Not to bad.”

She must have ripped them when she was running. They did so much running these days (literally running, which Karolina hated, she would much rather just do some Yoga and be done with it). 

Karolina could tell Nico was trying not to stare at her cleavage or bare stomach (she was respectful like that). She gloated internally more than she was proud of (a lot more than, to be honest).

She had spent so long feeling numb when boys and men found her attractive (if not outright uncomfortable), it felt so right, to be desired by someone she desired as well. It was like the puzzle pieces finally fit, and she now was able to understand why everyone got so worked up getting ready for a date or a dance. She still looked cute to Nico, even with a flesh wound. 

Karolina smiled through the pain. 

“I will go get the supplies,” Nico muttered, leaving a ghost of a kiss on Karolina’s cheek before she disappeared down the hall. 

Nico really did look cute in her flannel (cute like sexy, not like a puppy, or Old Lace). Karolina usually wore it like a sweater, over a tank top or t-shirt, but Nico wore it buttoned up all the way (except for one or two buttons, showing off her clavicle, who knew clavicles were sexy),with her was in ripped black jeans, and combat boots, and thick black eyeliner (it was really sexy in a 90’s grunge/punk way). (It was dawning on her that maybe it was Nico who was sexy, and the clothes had very little to do with it.) It was only kind of Karolina’s flannel, though, despite the teasing. She wore it more than anyone, but at some point, clothes become kind of communal in the van. Karolina was the one who wore this flannel the most, but at some point Gert, Chase and most recently, Nico had thrown it on. 

They bought clothes from dollar bins at thrift stores and on clearance when they stopped to get snacks at Walmart or Target. Everyone just grabbed for something clean when they had a chance to change or shower. It was not too bad really; Karolina and Molly had the same shoe size, and Chase’s sweats actually fit her (the ones made for girls were always to short, and had wimpy pockets). The worst part was that everyone started to smell pretty quickly in the van, no matter what they did. They sometimes wore the same thing for days at a time; finding time to go to a laundromat is no easy feat, (and that time they tried washing their clothing was funny, but disastrous). 

The best was when they found vacant vacation houses like, this one. They didn’t break in often, it wasn’t worth the risk that someone would come for a weekend trip, but after the last scrimmage with team parents, they needed somewhere to recoup. One of the first things they did was do laundry, sometimes three or four loads. And take showers, long showers.

That was the second biggest recurring fight they had; who got to shower first when they checked into a motel or broke into a vacation rental.

It was odd, what they now considered a luxury. 

Staying in the cabin wasn’t just a luxury though, it was necessary. Karolina might not have noticed she needed stitches, but Chase was sleeping in one of the bedrooms, recovering from a nasty burn on his right arm, Old Lace curled up at the end of his bed (Gert was protective of Chase, and by default so was her dinosaur). Molly, while unhurt, needed to sleep; the constant use of her powers was draining, and they could all see it on her face. She didn’t sleep well in the van, and she needed more sleep than the rest of them, because of her age and because of her powers. 

Before they started arguing about Old Lace, Alex and Gert were arguing how long they should stay at the cabin. Gert wanted to stay a week, Alex wanted to stay the night. 

These were the decisions they had to make, risk on a neighbor calling the cops for breaking and entering, or risk hitting the road where everything from a traffic cam to a video monitor at a 7/11 could give away their location to Pride. 

Nico and Karolina were able to broker a compromise of staying for four nights, long enough to recoup and plan where they were going next, but not so long as to garner unwanted attention, and limit the likelihood of the owners to come calling.

Karolina loved her friends (even Alex, who was really sweet when he wasn’t so freaking calculating), but it was exhausting, to constantly strategize how to stay safe, constantly broker compromises, and always wondering how they were going to manage staying alive (and, though Karolina avoided thinking about it, staying good). The stakes were so high, sometimes, she lay awake thinking of all the possible outcomes, how everything, on the turn of a dime, could go, terribly, horribly wrong-

“Kar,” Nico murmured, “Can you sit down”

She gestured to the kitchen table. 

Karolina nodded, gingerly sitting on a wooden chair, with one of those little seat cushions tied on (this place was really cute, they would have to leave an apology note for eating all of the ramen and using all of the laundry detergent, before they left).

Nico sat beside her, dumping her medical supplies on the table in front of them. 

Nico became there medic, somewhere around week three on the run. She used a spell, after Karolina needed stitches the first time, to give herself knowledge of how to fix the wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding (she had already used the spell for stitches on Gert the week previous). Nico now guessed she had the medical expertise of surgical intern. They stole some supplies from a free clinic (Karolina memorized the name and address so she could pay them back, someday), so for now, Nico could treat second degree burns, stitch them up, treat a fever or a minor infection. They didn’t like to talk about what would happen if someone got hurt beyond her expertise, or if they needed supplies that couldn’t be swiped from a clinic. 

“It’s kind of fucked up that I am getting better at stitching people up,” Nico murmured, as she touched Karolina’s side, this touch was completely clinical, but it still caused Karolina’s heart to race a little faster. 

“At least, now we don’t have to go to the hospital,” Karolina said, with a gasp, not sure if it was from the pain or Nico’s hands (both, probably both), “ The cops would find us, so quick.”

Karolina grabbed Nico’s hand as she reached for a familiar blue bottle. 

“Don’t waste the numbing stuff on me-”

“Kar-” Nico said incredulously. 

“No seriously.” Karolina closed her eyes, “I can take it, and we don’t know when we might need it.”

Nico looked at Karolina and then the bottle, then back again, clearly thinking hard. She didn’t want to think of the scenarios they would need it, but once you started thinking about it it was hard to stop. 

“Fine.” Nico said, worry etched on her face, “But I am doing this under duress.”

“I’m ok with that,” Karolina winced, as she felt the needle enter her skin. She was never going to get used to that. 

“Brat.” Nico said, but there was no sharpness in her voice. 

“That’s me.” 

A few painful seconds go by, and Karolina can see stars beyond the black of her eyelids (probably not a great sign but-)

“And we are done-” Nico smiled, caressing the spot below the neat line of stitches (they slash down, parallel to her ribs, ending, just above her hip); she leans down and kisses right below the stitches, as though it can take away the pain. It’s probably stupid, but Karolina kind of believed it would work. 

“I think we should talk,” Karolina said, her heart suddenly beating like a drum.

Nico looked up, Karolina winched: she guess that didn’t sound great. 

“About?” Nico asked carefully. 

“What is this?” Karolina pointed at the space between them, “Between us.”

Since they ran away, since they rescued Karolina from her Mom and Jonah (who was not her father, would never be her father, if she had to think about her conception, which she avoided at all cost, she called him sperm donor), and Nico had kissed her soft and quick and sweet as she sat on the trunk of the van, they had been…

Hooking up?

That didn’t seem to encapsulate what they had been doing, at least, not totally. 

They made out, a lot. If they were alone in the van together (which happened less often than she would like), they would gravitate towards each other, and just kind of start kissing, and more recently, taking articles of clothing off, with hands wandering. Karolina was cataloging every new sound that Nico made, every new inch or skin she saw, every inch she touched, and every mark she left (because sometimes it was a sweet kiss, almost innocent, while the teams back was turned, but sometimes, a lot of the time, it was crashing together, and accidental scratches, and not so accidental bite marks and bruises). 

Karolina didn’t know what it said about her, that she cherished the marks that Nico left behind, that she was near devastated when they faded (not that Nico was shy about remarking her). 

She catalogued Nico, and it could be all in her head, but she felt like Nico was doing the same.

Sometimes, after they kissed Nico just stared at her, like she was memorizing Karolina, just as she was in that moment. She wondered what her blushes looked like, and if Nico liked how pink fit her cheeks.

(Karolina wanted to know what she thought, because in those moments she thought Nico was the prettiest thing she had ever seen, even with smudged lipstick, and a flush rising on her collarbone and mussed slept in clothes; maybe that was her favorite Nico, because that Nico was hers).  
They also always slept next to each other.

Always. 

At first it was because no one else wanted to sleep near Karolina (she was like a portable space heater, her mom had always just told her that women in her family run hot, bit of an understatement considering her true form was UV rays). Now that it was getting colder, the further north they traveled, they still slept next to each other, (Karolina usually closer to the middle, so the rest could benefit from her inhuman heat) but it was a more than just a habit, now. 

Nico once told her, whispered while they both were lying on the floor of the van, everyone else's breath rising and falling and snoring, that she couldn’t fall asleep if Karolina wasn’t close, that even when they were lying next to each other, sometimes she needed to reach out and touch her before she felt ok again. 

(Karolina felt like this too, when she woke up without Nico’s arms around her, or Nico out of her sightline she panicked, even if she new, intellectually, that Nico was probably just going to the bathroom, or taking a breather outside the van. That fear had not dissipated, even after being on the road for months).

Sometimes they held hands, like in front of the others. She mentioned it to Gert, who looked at her like she was an alien (well more of an alien). She had said to Karolina that holding hands was pretty normal when you are dating someone.

But were they dating? Karolina really didn’t know the answer. She knew she was important to Nico, but besides that, she had been to scared to ask.  
Until now. 

She could hardly handle all of the mental gymnastics necessary to be on the run from the law, she couldn’t go another day without knowing what they were to each other. 

(It was like Nico was physically part of her, she would survive if they parted, but it would be like losing an arm or a leg. She was sure that she would have phantom pains, knowing that the space next to her should be occupied, but wasn’t.)

“What do you want it to be?” Nico asked, looking up at her through her eyelashes. She had washed her makeup off in the sink when they first arrived (Alex had one the rock paper scissors and got first shower) but there was still a bit of black rimming her eyes.

“That’s not fair answering a question with a question,” Karolina said with a sigh, her heart dropping before, she whispered. “I like you a lot.”

Like was too small, it sounded almost silly. She knew if she said the other word, Nico would run. She wasn’t ready. 

Yet.

“I like you a lot too,” Nico said it immediatly, like she had been waiting to say it for a while, and now had the opportunity. 

(A girl could dream). 

“I know it doesn’t really matter the labels-” Karolina didn’t want to trap Nico, force her into something-

“I want to be your girlfriend.” Nico said it so quickly, Karolina almost didn’t understand what she had said. 

“Yah?” Karolina’s voice was so hopeful but so fragile, even to her own ears, it was like she was offering something delicate into the world, even though the world had a tendency to destroy delicate things. 

“Yah,” Nico said firmly, reaching out and grabbing Karolina’s hand. 

Karolina leaned in and kissed Nico’s cheek.

“Cool,” She felt stupid saying it. It wasn’t cool, it was glorious or magnificent or awesome Or all three. 

Still it was something, and Nico smiled wide, and leaned in to kiss her, hands finding her waist, and Karolina didn’t have to think, she just had to feel.

And Nico kissed her once, then twice, then-

Well, Karolina lost count. 

“You know I did the math,” Nico said slowly, as she pulled away, returning to her own chair. 

Karolina’s face scrunched up.

“What math?” Her head may still be a bit fuzzy from the kisses. 

“There are four bedrooms here.” Nico said, “Gert always shares with Chase or Molly, then there’s a room for whoever she doesn’t share a room with, and one for Alex and-”

“One for us.”

Karolina’s pulse quickened.

They had never had this much room before. They had shared a bed, but usually the rest were sleeping on the bed and couch next to them, or at the least, Molly was.  
They had the van to themselves for an hour or two, or a motel room when the rest went to get breakfast and try to find a newspaper but-

A bedroom. 

Just the two of them. 

A bed. 

“We don’t have to do anything,” The possibilities of ‘anything’ race through Karolina’s mind. “Especially with your stitches-”

Nico’s hands trail up Karolina’s side, leaving fire in their wake. 

“-I am just happy to have you alone.” Nico finished, her blush returned and Karolina was happier than she had the right to be, considering they were on the run and her parents were serial killers and she didn’t know what the next hour, let alone the next day would bring.

Karolina smirked. 

“That sounds like something a super villain would say-”

“Call it parental influence-” Nico smirked right back.

“Nico!” But Karolina was laughing, and it felt good, even if her side ached.

“You feeling better, Kar?” Gert, walked through the door, Alex trailing behind. 

“Good.” Alex said, and it sounded like he meant it.

“Yes, I am.” Karolina smiled and then turned to look at Nico, “I am doing amazing, actually.”

Nico blushed even deeper. 

She hadn’t thought that was possible.

It was awesome.


	2. your bones (on my bones)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo.... Nico and Karolina have sex this chapter (they are both eighteen in this fic)... If your not comfortable, please don't read!

“You look really, really tired,” Nico murmured into Karolina’s hair; she was leaning into her, her eye’s fluttering, obviously trying to keep them open.

They were sitting on the couch, they were supposed to be helping pick a movie to watch tonight. Gert and Molly were on the floor, searching through the DVDs, talking amongst themselves, but they seemed to have forgotten Nico and Karolina were there; it had been nearly fifteen minutes since they asked either of them for their opinion, and they were ignoring any suggestions that Nico threw out (Karolina wasn’t even doing that, she was just using Nico as a pillow). Molly had woken up from her nap full of energy, while Chase was still asleep, and Alex was on his computer in one of the bedrooms. 

Nico knew they shouldn’t get comfortable, but it was hard not too. Despite there brush with their parents only hours prior, this was the safest, and most comfortable she had felt in months.

“Thanks babe” Karolina snarked sleepily, even as she snuggled deeper into Nico’s neck, “You say the sweetest things.”

“You guys are gross.” Molly said, without looking up from the DVDs.

Now she could hear them.

Typical

“Your worn out,” Nico insisted, ignoring Molly, “And injured; go take a nap. Take an advantage of a real bed.”

The last time they had slept in a real bed was nearly a month ago (they had been renting motel rooms by the hour instead of by the night because it was cheaper and so they could all take a shower, which was interesting to say the least.) Everyone had taken a shower at this point, they arrived at the cabin about three hours before, except for Chase who had fallen asleep as soon as they arrived, and Karolina, who had to do a sponge bath/washing her hair in the sink thing so she didn’t get her stitches wet. 

Nico had stayed way to long in the shower, and probably used more than her share of hot water but, it was heavenly and now she smelled like dried lavender. Someone should slap her if she ever took hot water and body wash for granted later in life. 

“But-” Karolina whined, “I’m comfy here and what if someone needs me-”

“I think I can keep everyone else alive for an hour or two while you sleep.”

Nico was almost offended, but she tried not to take it personally. Karolina worried, a lot. 

They all did. 

“Fine.” Karolina rolled her eyes, but made no effort to move. 

“Come on lazy,” Nico said, grabbing her hand, and pulling her up “I’ll show you which room I snagged for us-”

Karolina perked up, like she just remembered they had a room to themselves.

(The fact that they did made Nico’s heart flutter, a little more than she was proud of). 

“Ok!” Now it was Karolina dragging her down the hall.

“My vote is for Jurassic Park!” Nico shouted over her shoulder as they left (she was ignored, again).  
The door was open when they walked in. Nico picked this room because it had its own bathroom. An unfettered access to a bathroom, could this day get any better? (Besides the run in with their parents and Chase and Karolina getting injured, obviously). It also had one queen size bed, not two twins like a couple of the other rooms. 

She didn’t think Karolina would mind (she sure as hell didn’t). 

Karolina looked around the room, taking in every painting, and all the books on the shelves, the window that looked out on a row of pines. Karolina pulled her hair up, as she walked, securing it in a messy bun with an elastic. 

Her hair was shorter than it had been, it only fell an inch below her collarbone now. Nico had been the one to cut Karolina’s hair, with scissors they bought on clearance, in the back of the van. At some point, a foot of blonde hair became a nuisance, more tangles than anything else, (plus there was the added bonus that all the pictures of Karolina in the news had long hair). 

It made her Nico sort of melancholy to see her hair so short; it wasn’t because Kar was any less beautiful (like she could become less beautiful, even with no sleep and bruises coating most her body she was stunning), it was because she knew that hair represented something to her, about who she used to be. While she was cutting her hair, she had said, her voice monotone, that her mother had loved her hair, that she would spend hours brushing it for her when she was a child. 

It made her think of when they got Karolina back from her parents and Jonah, how she had been unhurt, hair long and perfect, wearing a white silk nightgown.Nico asked over and over again if she was hurt, if they hurt her. Karolina hadn’t answered at first and then she just said, no. It was the truth and not the truth.  
Kar was never going to be the girl from Brentwood, again, even if her grew long once more. It had been four months on the run, but they all could pass for years older (Karolina and Nico had turned eighteen while on the run, but they both could probably pass for twenty one). 

Karolina was looking at the bookshelf now, taking each one off, reading the back, then carefully returning it.

Karolina was like a walking bruise. From here she could see faded, purple blue and green splotches dotting her arms. That was just what she could see, Nico knew that under the black stretch of her leggings were more bruises, and bandages over banged up knees. Under her shirt was the long line of stitches, and a bruise that stretched from her shoulder blade down to the length of her spine. 

Molly, Chase and Karolina did the heavy lifting as far as defending the team went (Nico did her best to help, after she managed to steal back the Staff of One, a few weeks after running away, but whether the staff did what she wanted on any given day, was hit or miss). Molly, luckily, didn’t seem to get hurt like the rest of them; she got more and more tired, though. It seemed like she slept more than she was awake. Chase and Karolina got injured the most. Nico had stitched them up so many times, one of these days they were going to start bleeding internally or a bone was going to break. 

She stayed up for hours thinking about what would happen then. 

Would they be arrested at the hospital? Would they get everyone or just some of them? Would it be the police who found them or their parents? If it was the police, how long would it be before Jonah bribed them and-

While Nico was distracted, Karolina came behind her, putting two arms around her middle, soft but firm.  
“You should stay here,” Karolina whispered, “Take a nap with me.”

“Karolina I have things to do-” Nico wanted so badly to sleep next to Karolina; but she should help figure out what is for dinner, double check the protection spell she installed outside the cabin, and check on Chase...

“My names not things-” Nico could feel her smile, even if she couldn’t see her. 

“I'm glad you think your funny,” Nico said, even though she was having a hard time trying not to laugh. 

“I am funny.” She was, strangely, in her own weird, deadpan, flirty Karolina way. 

“Yah,” Nico nodded, she turned in Karolina’s arm, trying to read the expression on her face. 

“Please,” Karolina bit her lip, “I won’t be able to fall asleep if your not here. You can leave after. I am so tired if you I will fall asleep so quick...”

Nico softened. She couldn’t fall asleep without Karolina, either. They were both so woven together, it should have scared her; instead she just felt at peace. 

“Sure Kar,” Nico held the arms around her a little tighter “Whatever you need.”

Before she knew it, Karolina had collapsed on top of the covers, and was patting the space next to her.  
Nico threw herself on the bed, Karolina giggled as she bounced slightly. 

(Nico had known she was bi for a while, so ending up with a girl isn't that surprising, but a girl who giggled was strange even now). 

Nico heard herself hum slightly as she got comfortable; actual beds, not blankets on top of van floors, were the bomb dot com. Karolina curled up, on her side, dragging Nicos arm with her; she didn’t mind.  
Nico liked being the big spoon. 

When Gert figured that out, she hadn’t heard the end of it. Then she gave Gert a look, one eyebrow raised, then a look at Chase then back, again and she had kept her mouth shut. 

(Where those two together? She knew they were still having sex, that had been the wrong time to open the van door; at least Molly had been far, far away.)

No matter what anyone snarked, it was her favorite way to fall asleep; she didn’t care that Kar was so much taller than her (why did other people have so many opinions on how they cuddled anyway?) Sleeping, curled around Karolina helped her fall asleep. It also helped with the nightmares, to wake up with her arms around Kar, because even when her eyes were closed she knew it was her because of her radiating heat, that bordered on inhuman (plus Kar was like the best pillow ever). 

Nico ran her hand up and down Karolina’s arm, and waited for the tell tale sounds of her girlfriend asleep.

Her girlfriend.

It made her stomach twist in a good and bad way (she hadn’t known that was possible, to feel so much, to want so much, all the time). 

Karolina started to snore, softly (even her freaking snores were lady like). 

She carefully extricated herself. Karolina was clearly still asleep, but she still made a soft noise when Nico moved away, moving her body back as if to keep her with her. Nico pulled a throw blanket over her body, tucking it in. Karolina smiled in her sleep. Nico wasn’t sure why she had never noticed, not after months of sleeping in the same space.

Nico wasn’t sure why, but she leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

It felt dangerously domestic, but I guess that’s what girlfriends did…

They were dating, they were going steady, they were girlfriend and girlfriend. She wanted it, and if they had been in Brentwood they probably would have been official months ago, and she wanted a future with Karolina (sometimes in the hazy moments between sleeping and waking she would imagine the life they could have together, were they were older, and their parents weren’t monsters and they could be uncomplicatedly happy). She wanted Kar, she wanted them, it was just that she had no idea if they were going to stay alive long enough to have a future. 

Nico knew how strong she was now, but she didn’t think she was strong enough to lose Karolina.  
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, as she walked. She was in ripped jeans (the kind that you buy cheap at the thrift store because they are ripped, not the kind kids in brentwood buy for 200 dollars), and a long sleeved black shirt. Her face was bare (she washed away her dollar store eyeliner away when she was in the shower) and her hair was up in a messy bun with a velvet black scrunchie. She looked like a shadow of herself, her armour ripped away. 

Nico sighed, and walked out of the bedroom (taking extra care that the sound of the door opening and closing wouldn’t wake her up). 

As soon as she shut the door, she almost immediately bumped into Alex, but they stopped the collision just in time.

“Sorry,” they both mumbled at the same time. 

Nico was going to walk past him, when Alex said “Wait.”

Nico turned and looked at him.

“I am sorry about the crack I made earlier,” Alex looked down, “About you and Karolina, that was uncool.”  
“Well thanks.” Nico took a deep breath, “Want to help figure out what we should do for dinner?”  
Alex nodded and grinned back, gratefully.

She hadn’t forgiven him, for Amy. She wasn’t sure if she ever would, (or for wanting to leave Karolina behind- not that she would have let them). but he was still her friend, she wanted him to be her friend. 

The two of them, and Chase a few minutes later, when he finally woke up, were able to hobble together a pretty passable dinner. Thank god, because they had been living off gas station food for months, and despite there teenaged metabolisms, they occasionally needed to eat a vegetable (she was worried about Molly getting scurvy). 

They made mac and cheese from the box, with some frozen broccoli and spinach thrown in, plus smoothies with some frozen fruit and fruit juice in a can.

Fresh would have been better but, it was free (OK it was stolen, but they would send money if they ever got through this all). 

While they cooked, Nico also, checked the boundaries of her spell, changed over the laundry, and checked Chase’s burn, and before she knew it two hours had passed.

“I’ll go wake up Kar,” Nico said, as Molly and Alex set the table. 

“Don’t get distracted,” Gert called over her shoulder, from where she was folding the clean clothes and carefully returning them to the laundry basket. 

Nico blushed. 

Nico opened the door quietly, and sat next to Karolina; as soon as she did, she started to stir. 

“Karolina it’s time to wake up.” Karolina, snuggled deeper into the pillow, ignoring her. 

“Babe.” Nico said, moving her hand, running it up and down her back (trying to soothe and not aggravate her stitches or bruise.)

“Five more minutes,” The words were barely intelligible. 

“Dinner’s ready,” Nico prompted. 

Karolina made a sound that sounded a lot like ‘hrmff’. 

Nico, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. 

“Babe, everyone’s waiting,” Nico continued, “plus we made mac and cheese.”

Karolina’s eyes open at the mention of mac and cheese.

“Fine,” Kar still didn’t seem pleased about it, but she stumbled out of bed, and yawned as they walked down the hall. Nico can see the purple underneath her eyes. Karolina needed as much sleep as she could get tonight. 

The team was quiet as they ate dinner, everyone focused on a warm, meal that was actually eaten at a table. The only real point of discussion was what movie they were going to watch tonight. It was between Jurassic Park and The Dark Knight. 

“I don’t know.” Molly said, her head balanced on one of her hands, as she got another forkful of mac and cheese, “they're both pretty good.”

“I haven’t seen Jurassic Park,” Karolina said idly. Five pairs of eyes rapidly focused on Karolina.

“Seriously, babe?” Nico asked. 

“How is that even possible,” Chase wondered aloud, with an expression on his face that suggested he was now rethinking his entire world view.

“I didn’t watch a lot of movies growing up,” Karolina shrugged, “The Church didn’t encourage it.”

“You’re dad was literally a movie star,” Alex said.

“The church could be hypocritical,” Karolina, looked down at her plate, clearly embarrassed.  
Nico knew she still had mixed feelings about the Church and the role faith had in her life. She reached out and put a hand on her thigh, rubbing circle’s; Karolina smiled at her gratefully.  
“Well that settles it,” said Gert, “Jurassic Park it is.”

They settled in the living room, after they washed the dishes, and put the clean laundry in the van (plus a couple bags of canned food, peanut butter, soap and other things that they could use when they were back on the road). They hadn’t run out of money, yet, Alex had managed to hack their parents accounts, and take out small amounts of money without them knowing or tracing it back to them. Still they weren’t exactly rolling in dough, and at anytime they could freeze the account and they would have no income.  
Alex sat in the arm chair, while Karolina, Nico, Gert and Chase, squeezed onto the couch. Molly leaned up against Kar’s legs, sitting criss crossed on the floor. 

As the movie played, Gert gave a running commentary about the special effects, the director, even the casting (she really liked this movie, evidently) and Kar started braiding Molly’s hair.

She french braided Molly's hair almost everyday, in two braids, and when they were bored (which was a lot of the time), she would braid dozens of small braids, and then unbraid them, so Molly’s hair looked like it was twice as big, before braiding them back into the normal two. 

Molly braided Karolina’s hair too sometimes, but Nico had the feeling, that it only reminded her what her hair used to look like.

Nico almost fell asleep on Karolina, around the one hour mark of the movie, and she wasn’t alone. Everyone was starting to fade, leaning a little more heavily into the pillows or each other. It was kind of sad, everyone was falling asleep and it was only eight (the sun had barely set, for goodness sakes). 

They all managed to stay awake through the end of the movie, Gert’s commentary lessening with every passing minute, as she eventually ended up with her head on Chase's lap. She wasn’t sure who was more happy about this development, Chase or Alex (he hated when people talked in movies, but he was trying to keep the piece after the blow out earlier, and Chase well, Chase was in love with Gert and the only one seemed to not know this was Gert). When the movie ended, everyone let out a sigh of relief, realizing that they could finally go to bed. Gert was yawning as she grabbed the remote to turn off the TV, even Old Lace was asleep in the corner. 

Then everyone started to wander back to the bedrooms. Molly said pointedly she wanted her own room, tonight. Gert and Chase avoided looking at each other but still left together, Nico thought she saw him grab her hand before the door to there room closed. Alex left with a quiet goodnight. 

That left the two of them, Nico still leaning against Karolina. Without either one saying anything, they headed to bed (her heart was pounding so hard, she was surprised no one else could hear it.) 

Going to bed, a bed with just the two of them, and no one else around. So many things could happen, so many things she wanted to happen. 

Things had already happened.

Clothes had been taken off, mouths have wandered, legs had found their way in between the others, moans and love bites and it was so, so good. She had loved everything they had done together, but she ached for more. 

She didn’t want to push, though; she knew Karolina had even less experience in this regard then she did.  
Karolina sat on the bed, as Nico closed the door behind them, quietly locking it.

“So,” Nico turned to look at her, licking at her lips,“did you like the movie?”

Karolina looked disappointed. 

“Yep,” She nodded, avoiding her gaze. 

Nico felt her cheeks get flushed, she got Karolina alone, and she wanted to talk about a dinosaur movie? Seriously?

“So we are alone.” Nico felt so nervous, “You and me.”

“We don’t have to do anything,” Karolina said, “Tonight or ever if you don’t-”

There she went, stealing Nico’s line. 

“I want to do things.” The words were earnest and unsophisticated and true. Painfully, painfully true. 

“Things,” Karolina smiled, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, “Babe, that’s still not my name.”

Nico could only laugh, nervousness still bubbling through her system. Nico stepped forward, closer to where Karolina was sitting, her legs thrown over the side of the bed. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” Karolina is dead serious, and it makes Nico laugh even harder. 

“I want to kiss you all the time.” Like Kar didn’t know that. She was the one who couldn’t keep her hands to themselves (they both weren’t great at that, but that was besides the point). 

“Still you will tell me if-” Karolina looked worried now. 

“I will.” Nico said, “You too though.” 

They kissed, and Nico climbs over Karolina’s lap, hovering over, her thighs bracketing hers; trying not to touch lest she brush up against her bruises (she wants to touch, so freaking badly). Karolina hisses, despite her effort, she appears not to do a good enough job not touching her. 

Typical. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Nico flinched, and she got ready to move away, “Maybe we should do this another time.”

“Maybe.” Karolina doesn’t sound convinced.

Nico nodded, and started to climb off her lap, when Karolina stops her, hands on her waist. 

“I don’t want to.” Karolina looked at Nico through her eyelashes “Stop.”

Nico was pretty sure her heart stopped beating for a second. 

Nico is the one who leans back in, Karolina's face in her hands, there mouths colliding all teeth and tongue and lips, and yes, yes, yes. Then, Karolina is on her back and she’s above her, and they kiss for what seems like hours but probably is only minutes. 

When they broke apart, Nico was sure she was as red as an apple. 

“I don’t know why I’m blushing,” Nico managed to say, feeling like she had to address the elephant in the room. 

“I like it,” Karolina murmured, her own cheeks turning pink, “ A lot”

“Why?” Nico was genuinely curious, still hovering over her. 

“It’s like your mine when you do.” Karolina whispered, “I know that sounds…”

“I get it.” The weird part is, she really, really does. 

“Can you take off your shirt?” Karolina breathes out. They had done that before, but it still sent a thrill through her. Nico leans up and takes off her shirt, leaving her in ripped jeans and a black cotton bra.  
“Now you.” Karolina’s t-shirt is off in record time. 

Karolina shouldn’t be so gorgeous, with bruises and stitches; it should have been a turn off, it should have made her upset. It just made her grateful. She was alive, they both were alive. Nico eased her body away, getting off the bed; Karolina whined at the loss of contact and the sound went straight between her legs.  
Karolina sat up.

“I want to…” Nico started, not knowing how to say it. 

“You should take them off,” it was like Karolina read her mind, “I will too.”

Leggings and jeans fell to the floor. 

“Come here,” Karolina whispered, “Please.”

They were sliding into uncharted territory, and Nico wanted, wanted, wanted more than she had anything in her entire life. 

Nico kissed her lips, and then she moved down, small kisses on her jaw, sucking lightly on her neck, small bites below her collarbone. She is trying to remember everything she has ever done to Kar that elicited a gasp or a moan, and it seems to be working; She’s making small keening noises, her body twisting trying to get closer and closer-

Suddenly Nico was on her back; she forgot how strong Karolina was. 

“Ok?” Karolina asked, hovering on her elbows above Nico. Damn, that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was.  
Nico nodded rapidly. 

Karolina kissed her lips, soft and almost sweet, and then she moved lower, sucking bruises into her neck (fuck, that felt-)

Karolina’s hands were inching up, her thumbs worrying the spot on her ribs right under her bralette.  
“Fuck.” Nico whispered, “Let me.” 

Karolina looked up confused, and then the look was replaced with pure hunger, as Nico took off her bralette. 

They were no longer sliding into uncharted territory, they were squarely in it. 

“God you are so gorgeous,” Karolina murmured, “So fucking gorgeous.”

“Yah?” Nico said, nerves ebbing away. 

“Yah,” Karolina reached out and ran her finger over one of her nipples, and it shouldn’t have felt that good, but she felt like she was on fire. Karolina leaned down, licking and then sucking, and Nico was so close to the edge, it was unreal (they had hardly done anything yet, and yet she could hardly breathe). 

“Can I,” Karolina her breathing ragged, “Make you feel good.”

It takes her a few seconds to understand her meaning. 

“Are you sure?” Nico asked. 

“So sure.”

“Same.”

Karolina leaned into kiss her once more all tongue and the right side of messy. 

“Ok.” Karolina bit her lip, “I might not be good at-”

“I am so fucking close already-”

“Really?” Karolina looked so fucking pleased with herself, but before she could say anything, she got right to work. 

Kissing down her chest, fingers bushing all the spots her mouth doesn’t reach (and her mouth reaches so many places) 

Karolina didn’t touch her underwear at first, her hands on her waist, her mouth everywhere else, in the divot next to her hip, her thighs, the inside of her thighs; she used to be self conscious they had purplish stretch marks, now she could only think: more, Karolina, more-

“Please,” Nico didn’t recognize her own voice. 

“Please what?” Karolina’s voice was sexy and hoarse, and the sight of her blonde head between her legs, looking up at her through her lashes; she honestly might come without Karolina touching her (or she will self combust, one of the two). 

“Touch me there.” Nico’s hands went to her own hips, shoving the cotton and elastic down. Karolina seemed dazed at first, and then helped push them down her legs, throwing them somewhere. 

“You are gorgeous,” Karolina whispered like a prayer, kissing the inside of her legs, that were now spread, completly unself conscious, her lips were going up farther up and up. “And brilliant and-”

“Please,” Karolina was going to kill her. 

“What do you like?” Shit, that was a good question, she was not equipped to handle (she wasn’t sure she was equipped to spell her own name right now). 

“Anything… So close-”

She felt Karolina’s thumb gently on her clit, and she almost blacked out. 

“Fuck yes,” Nico closer her eyes, tipping her head back, then she felt Karolina’s bites, and sucking travel from the inside of her thigh to-

“Oh my god,” She chose that moment to look down and so she saw the exact moment Karolina’s lips went around her clit and sucked-

She had never come so hard in her life; There were sparks behind her eyes and the aftershocks had her shaking (and twitching, she might be twitching)

“Sensitive,” Nico murmured, her hands going to Karolina’s head, gently pulling her away. 

“Did you just..” Karolina’s eyes were almost as big as her smile.

“Yep.” Nico nodded as she bit her lip. 

“Can I kiss you?” Instead of answering, she pulled her head up, and soon Karolina was clamoring over her body and they were kissing and she tasted like salt and sex and-

“I bet I can make you do that this time” Nico pulled away from the kiss, to whisper in Karolina’s ear; she didn’t know what got into her, but she kind of loved it. She felt high, and like she would never come down, aftershocks still shaking her system. 

Karolina nodded emphatically. 

“Yes, please.”

************************************

“How long do you think we can run for?” Karolina broke her silence, hands running up Nico’s bare back. The sweat was still drying, and the pleasant thrum of (multiple) orgasms had almost pulled her to sleep. 

“I don’t know.” Nico said honestly, she was on top of Karolina skin to skin, bone to bone. If she could get physically closer she would. 

“Maybe,” Karolina said slowly, “someday we can stop playing defense. Maybe one day we can do more than survive.”

“Maybe.” Nico didn’t want to crush her dream, but her hopes were a bit smaller and dimmer. She just wanted them all to stay together, she wanted Molly to stay a kid and for Karolina and her to continue leaning on each other and for them to kiss when no one was looking. 

That would be enough.

“I love you,” Nico said. In that moment she didn’t need Karolina to say it back or even to feel it. It was just something she needed to say now, while she had the chance. Karolina, the beautiful girl who still was an optimist in the face of deeply unfair world. She loved her, and she wanted her to know that. 

“I love you too.” Karolina whispered, pressing a small kiss in her hair. 

‘I love yous’ echoed around her head, soft and comforting, as Nico fell asleep, basking in the heat Karolina gave off, like her own, small sun. 

Her sun.


	3. goodnight (travel well)

When Karolina woke up, she was aching a sore, and her mouth was dry. She was happier then she had been in ages. 

Nico loved her.  
Nico loved her.  
Nico loved-

It was too sweet, too good, too wonderful, even to say to herself too much. If she thought about it for to long she would start worrying or second guessing. She just wanted to be happy right now. 

She should be freaking out, if not about the ‘I love you’s’ exchanged, then definitely about the sex. Sex, she had sex; her virginity was gone. Yes she knew, intellectually thanks to Gert’s many rants, that virginity was a social construct, but that construction still seemed really real, and she would be lying if she said she didn’t feel changed by it. 

It was a good change, but a change nonetheless. Part of that change could be the desperately needed oxytocin now running through her veins, but Karolina thought it might be more than that. 

She didn’t want to wake Nico, as she slipped away to pee and brush her teeth, but by the time she returned, Nico was already, awake, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. 

“Why didn’t we sleep in,” Nico groused. 

“We got eight hours of sleep,” Karolina sighed, looking at the clock on the wall, “Which is four hours more than we have been getting usually.” 

Nico kissed her cheek, as she climbed out of bed to use the bathroom too. When she returned, she kissed Karolina, and she tasted like toothpaste.

“I think we shouldn’t leave this bed,” Nico said seriously, climbing under the covers, and curling half on top of Karolina, settling her head on her bare collarbone,“To make up for the fact we couldn’t sleep in.”

“I am so down with that.” Karolina stretched her arms above her head, before curling her arm around Nico’s waist “Bed’s are amazing.” 

“This may sound horrible,” Nico’s voice was muffled in her skin, “But could we steal this mattress?”

“I don’t think it would fit in the van” Karolin replied slowly, considering, “plus its probably not super moral-”

“Moral gray area,” Nico said emphatically. “We need it more than someone does for there vacation home guest bedroom. We will pay them back… eventually.”

“Whatever you say.” 

“I do say,” Nico continued, now petulant. 

Karolina hummed. 

“Do you regret it?” Nico was fidgeting, and when Karolina looked down, she could see how nervous she was. “No.” Karolina said softly, “Do you?”

“No.” Nico took a sharp inhale of breath, “We moved really quick though, girlfriends, and sex and ‘I love you’s’ in twelve hours… I do love you.”

“I love you too.” It was automatic, and so easy to say. 

Karolina paused thinking. 

“Maybe it was too fast,” Karolina murmured “Maybe it wasn’t fast enough.”

“Maybe,” Nico said dreamily, and Karolina decided not to worry about it, and instead, to enjoy that Nico was safe and in her arms and still loved her.

They stayed like that, dozing and awake, and daydreaming, for hours; occasionally talking, but never just to break the silence (the silence was nice and safe and comfortable). There was only one thing that could have dragged them from this bed, and she came for them around nine. 

“Are you awake,” Molly said through the door, pounding on it (thank god they locked the door last night), “I found pancake mix and syrup and frozen strawberries. It's better fresh but-”

“Were coming Molls,” Karolina sighed, eyes closed. “Just give us a minute.”

“Ok.” Molly said, like she didn’t quite believe them.

“We will be there in five minutes,” Nico sighed, “Promise.”

“Great!” They could hear Molly’s feet stomp down the hall, surely waking up the rest. 

“Molly is lucky we love her.” Nico yawned, as she, unhappily slipped out of bed. 

“Yep.” Karolina agreed. 

They dragged themselves out of bed, and threw on clothes. By the time they got to the kitchen, everyone else was already there, milling about as Molly gave out pancakes. She had even managed to find syrup, score. 

“I see you guys had fun last night.” Gert smirked. 

Karolina’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“What are you talking ab-” Before she could finish she glanced at Nico and noticed her neck looked like it had been (lovingly) mauled. 

Oh.

Oops. 

Karolina mouthed sorry at Nico, before grabbing them both plates of pancakes. Nico didn’t seem too concerned about it, once she realized the cause of Gert’s teasing, and Molly, and Chase, thankfully, didn’t notice.

Alex didn’t say anything, but he wouldn’t look at either of them either. 

It was an otherwise pleasant breakfast, the sun was shining through the windows, and it was easy to pretend this was there life now, not the running and plotting and near death experiences. 

(She always did know how to jinx herself.)

Karolina was in the middle of a bite when she heard it. 

“Umm, what’s that noise?” Gert asked. 

“The alarm,” Nico said, in a calm voice, “My spell. We have to go now.”

They knew the drill (Nico had filled them in after she had cast it). They would know when someone drove down the driveway. The spell would give them a ten minute head start- tops, to take the van out the back way. If they moved fast enough, the other car wouldn’t know they had been their at all, until they went inside the house. 

Then, they would then most likely call the cops, and they would have to have crossed state lines before they arrived. They had decided on Nevada, with the hope to cross into Utah before they could stop again.  
They knew how to run, now; disturbingly well. They knew how to pack the car (what needed to be packed and wasn’t the day before) in minutes, they knew how to usher Old Lace in the van, they knew how to speed out of driveways, and motel parking lots, fast enough to get away, but not so fast as to alert local beat cops. 

Karolina was there best get away driver, so she always drove first (Nico always sat in the passenger seat, staff in hand, just in case).

Everyone was quiet as they loaded there things and themselves into the van. Karolina would put money on the fact they were all not just focused, but in mourning, not just the creature comforts the cabin had provided, but how easy it was to pretend to be normal there. 

Now they were in the cold light of day, there was no pretending. 

They were runaways, through and through. 

They all sat in silence, Karolina behind the wheel, having barely put her seatbelt on, as the pealed out of the driveway. 

Karolina wondered what the owners of the cabin would think. They had thrown away the food on their plates and stacked the dirty dishes, before they ran out, trying to make it harder to identify how many people had stayed there. 

Would they think it was criminals or junkies who had stolen there food and broken in? Would they think it was runaways?

“We didn’t have time to steal the mattress,” Nico said quietly from her spot in the passenger seat.

“Wait you were planning to do that too?” Gert whipping around to stare at Nico. 

Everyone just started laughing, hard, even Alex, it was like all the pressure that had been building was slow slipping out of the car. 

Once they started laughing, it was hard to stop. They put on the radio, and Molly told bad jokes and puns; and when Karolina looked in the rearview mirror she saw Chase and Alex talking in low voices, smiles on their faces. 

They kept driving, only stopping for semi-regular bathroom breaks, and to get more gas. They would be in Utah. Whoever wasn’t driving read and played cards; Alex was on his computer figuring out a safe, cheap campsite for the night. 

They had switched drivers, Gert then Chase then Karolina again. When they switched to Karolina again, the sun was almost setting, and Nico moved to the passenger seat, while everyone else settled in the back.  
“You can sit in the back if you want,” Karolina kept her eyes on the road, “Try to sleep…”

“You know it won’t work,” Nico replied, “Besides, I like sitting with you.”

Karolina smiled, and she smiled even wider when Nico leaned in a kissed her cheek, after all they had done last night that shouldn’t have been something that affected her, but it made her warm and content in the bottom of her stomach. 

They sat together, and Nico turned up the radio, as the darkness blotted out the brilliant pink and orange light. 

Nico mouthed ‘I love you’ and Karolina smiled a wide tooth smile, and mouthed it right back.


	4. coming out of my cage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They stopped running, but they never really will. 
> 
> OR 
> 
> Nico and Karolina try to figure out what it means to be in a relationship, when they are not on the run.

Despite sleeping in the same bed for over a month Nico was still disoriented every time she woke up. Her heart pounded as she looked for danger that wasn’t just around the corner.

(But the danger was real, alive, and searching for them; it’s hard, when you can’t write off your nightmares as irrational).

Today was no different, Nico shot straight up, out of breath. She had to force herself to look around, to not get sucked back into her own head. 

Sometimes, when she woke up, she thought they were still living in the van, or that she was at one of the motels along the highway. It wouldn’t matter that it didn’t smell the same, like too many bodies crammed together and cigarettes, or that her back didn’t ache from the floor of the van or decades old mattresses; she was never quite able to believe were she was. 

It was worse than usual today because she thought, for less then a second, that she was in Brentwood and that Amy was alive. 

But then her heart twisted, when she realized how far away from home she really was, and she couldn’t not remember everything.

Everything. 

Before she could start to spiral (the regrets, the scars, the pain-), she tried to ground herself. It was Gert’s suggestion, something she learned years ago from a therapist. She listed all the things she could reach out and touch and how they felt under her fingers. 

She was in a bed, a little too small, and a little bit lumpy in places. The comforter had a rip down the side, but the sheets were soft; the window was open and the air smelled like salt and burnt pine. She was wearing sleep shorts that were a size too big, and tank top that had a hole along the hem.

That all helped, noticing were she was and were she was not, but nothing helped her breath even out, her heartbeat slow, then looking at who was in her bed.

Karolina.

She was twisted around Nico’s pillow, half the blanket kicked off her legs, snoring quietly and that was its own small miracle. 

(Karolina was next to her, and she was safe and she was alive. They were both alive). 

Nico’s closed her eyes, and when she opened them she felt almost okay, (sometimes the demons were harder to shake, but she supposed that it was something to be thankful when they were easily slayed.) 

Nico laid back down, trying not to wake up Karolina; she had a late shift last night, she deserved to sleep.

She still couldn’t get over how mundane it was: Karolina stumbling into bed at 2 AM, smelling like burnt coffee, while Nico read a dusty paperback with a mug of tea. Karolina had thrown off her polo shirt, bra and khakis, leaving her in just a tank top and underwear, she had motioned wordlessly for Nico to scoot over, and then fell into bed, promptly falling asleep. 

She never thought it would be like this. 

Disappearing, that is. 

Two months ago, after they had already been on the run for four months, the team created a plan that would allow them to stay in one place for a while. 

After a lot of discussion (and so many screaming matches that Molly looked like she was going to cry every time someone so much as raised their voice) the team decided on settling San Juan Island, off the coast of Washington. 

New names, new social security numbers, new lives. 

Alex bought them a house, with cash, at a foreclosure sale. The money was stolen from their parents, just like most of the money they spent on the run. Nico had not wanted to risk embezzling that much money- that had been the worst fight. Karolina and Molly had ended up in tears, and Gert was close to a panic attack. 

It was Chase who ended it. 

“We can’t run forever,” Chase said, his voice scary calm, and his even stare boring into Nico, “You know it. This is the best play.”

He was right, of course. They were five eighteen year olds, a fourteen year old, and a dinosaur. At some point the luck was going to run out. They needed new identities. 

They needed this. 

“Why are you fighting this, so hard?” Karolina asked later, tucking a bit of Nico’s hair behind her ear. They were huddled by the fire; they were camped somewhere near Olympia, and summer had long ago faded to fall- Karolina’s extraterrestrial heat was no longer enough to keep them warm.

“Don’t you feel like…” Nico started, before trailing off. She fixed her gaze on the rest of the team, on the other side of the fire, huddled together. They looked older than they used too. 

She realized with a start, that she must have looked older, too. 

“Like?” Karolina prompted. 

“We are giving up?” Nico asked, “Buying a house, getting day jobs. Our parents are still out there. They are going to still do… ” 

“We aren’t stopping them on the run either.”

Karolina was right of course. Nico patched up burns and bullet holes, with stolen medical supplies that were quickly running out. Every clash with their parents, a half dozen by this time, was harder and harder won, and there injury count kept on growing. 

“Yes, but-”

“No buts,” Karolina said, her voice sharp, “We need to take the win wherever we can get it.”

Nico didn’t say anything. She didn’t have anything to say. 

The next day they drove to the Anacortes and boarded a ferry. They camped for a few days, while looking for a house; Nico complained under her breath the whole time. When Karolina noticed she just laughed.

“Come on, cranky,” She whispered in her ear ,“Just give it some time.”

“Fine.” but then Karolina kissed her neck and she forgot, for a second, why she was so grumpy. 

She would never admit it to Alex, but she loved the house they bought. 

The bungalow was creaky, the paint peeling, and always smells vaguely like mildew despite Karolina and Gert's near pathological cleaning efforts. The kitchen was built in the 1970s with a fridge that seemed to decide on any given day if was going to work. The roof leaked and they all tripped over the same uneven bit of floor near the (tragically) only bathroom in the whole house. 

It had a big porch, that faced the ocean and the old owners left a bunch of furniture (they were moving into a retiring community, they were told, and didn’t want to deal with storage of selling or donating all of it). Karolina and Nico’s room had little more than a bed and some boxes that they were using for their clothes, but they had a couch and a bookshelf in the living room. 

There were three bedrooms; Nico had immediately called the bedroom upstairs, overlooking the oak tree in the back yard for her and Karolina, (Karolina’s bright red blush would have been enough to make it worth it). Gert shared with Molly, and Alex with Chase (though she was pretty sure Alex spent half his nights on the couch, because Gert snuck into their room). 

They moved into the house in less then a day- it wasn’t like they had a lot of things, after all. 

A week later they got fake social security cards, and they all got jobs a week after that, (apparently the college kids abandoned the island to go back to school a few months before an the team quickly took their place). Chase and Karolina became barista’s at an independent coffee shop right in the heart of the island’s tiny downtown. Karolina maintained they got the job because of her and Chase’s amazing (and fabricated) resumes, which made Nico roll her eyes when she wasn’t looking. The coffee shop’s,clientele doubled within a week of their employment, and the two of them netted an obscene amount of money in tips. Nico, meanwhile got a job at the Goodwill (which meant that a lot of the discarded donations ended up at their house). Alex picked up freelance coding, while Gert, most surprisingly, got a job as a dockworker, unloading the catch from local fishing boats, and then delivering the fish to the local restaurants, grocery store, and ferry. 

“Why is everyone so surprised,” Gert grumbled, when she saw everyone’s shocked faces when she got the job, “All of your perceptions of labor are so gender normative. As it is we are all participating in capitalism, which in of itself is unethical and-”

“We are happy you got a job, Gert,” Molly said quickly, “You will be amazing.” 

“Oh, well,” Gert paused, “Thank you.”

Nico had to hide her laugh in Karolina’s neck.

Molly had wanted to get a job too, which the rest had unanimously vetoed. Molly got enrolled in an online homeschool, instead. They all tried to help her with her work, whenever they could. tIt was challenging, though, with so many conflicting schedules, and what felt like a never ending to do list pined next to the fridge.

Still, they tried to spend time together, even if it was less time then when they were on the run (which honestly, at least to Nico, was a bit of a relief). 

They cooked breakfast together with pans left over from the old owners, on chipped plates from Goodwill. On nights when no one was working, they would eat on the porch. Karolina always teased her, because she loved sitting in those plastic lawn chairs when the rain was pouring down. She loved the smell of it on the earth, the way the air felt clean. There was nothing comparable to that feeling in Brentwood. 

It wasn’t perfect, but… Nico had stopped thinking perfect was a possibility a long time ago. 

It just wasn’t realistic. 

They were teenage runaways, after all, not the Brady Bunch. 

They still had ‘go bags’ packed. They even practiced how they would escape, once a week. How they would evacuate the house, what they needed to take so their parents couldn’t track them. How they would sneak onto one of the house boats on the marina, how they would sale into Canada through international borders.

(Paying they were not turned away at the border, or any of the other thousands of things that could go wrong; though they didn’t talk about that). 

There was also the guilt. Nico knew that she wasn’t the only one who felt it. 

Their parent’s plan, Pride’s plan, was still in effect as far as any of them knew. They tried to do what they could. They sent in anonymous tips to the police and city hall from untraceable IP addresses, froze bank accounts, and Alex even managed to get there parents on a no-fly list. 

But it was like a bandaid on a bullet hole; they weren’t defeating Pride, they were hardly even fighting anymore. 

But, they weren’t on the run anymore, fighting for their lives getting shot at. Molly was fourteen and if she was found with the rest of them, who knew what Jonah would do to her, what he would do to the rest of them. 

It didn’t matter that they were still teenagers. 

(Not that Nico felt like much of a teenager, not anymore.)

“We should take our blessings were we can find them,” Karolina would say, when Nico started spiraling, filled with anxious energy, and worry and so much guilt that it felt like it was hollowing out a hole in her stomach. 

It took everything Nico had not to be flipitant, but she didn’t want to hurt Karolina, not ever. 

“We are not on the run anymore,” Nico would agree, nodding numbly. 

(They would always be on the run, or they would be until their parents were dead, and that was its own kind of terrible to consider.) 

Nicos knew she should try to sleep, at least a few hours more; glancing at clock it was barely 7 and Karolina wouldn’t be awake for another few hours at least. 

Sleeping, though, like everything else, wasn’t as simple as it once was.

For right now, that was okay. Nico liked watching Karolina sleep, despite the inherent Twilight-ness of it. All that worry that seemed permanently etched on her face since they left Brentwood melted away. She looked like the same girl she knew when they were kids, before they found out about Pride, or the Staff of One, or Karolina’s alien genetics… before Amy. 

It should have been weirder than it was, sharing this space with her, her life in this intimate way. They had been sleeping together for months, and beside each other for even longer. They took walk together, hand in hand, along the rocky beach near the house, and they shopped for groceries together, Nico pushing the cart and Karolina carrying the list. They fought about making the bed (Karolina thought it was a must, while Nico thought it was pointless). 

They fell into each other like two exploding cars, all teeth and tongues, leaving bruises to be found the next morning, but they also touched each other in the warm light of morning, biting at each others lips to keep their moans from waking the others up. 

Nico made Karolina coffee, and Karolina made her tea, and they sat next to each other on the porch and watched the rain fall, not saying anything. 

They were so domestic, that it struck Nico as bizarre sometimes. 

A year ago, if someone told her where she would end up, she would have asked them what they were smoking (and probably if she could have some). Even now Karolina was a rainbow alien made of pure sunshine (both figuratively and literally), was her girlfriend. That was almost stranger than being on the run from her murderous parents. 

Almost. 

“Are you staring again?” Karolina mumbled, half asleep but her voice still teasing. 

Nico pouted, despite herself. 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“It’s cute,” Karolina dragged Nico so she was half on top of her, her eyes still closed, “Your cute.”

Karolina was so warm and soft, and that little strip of stomach that had been revealed from her tank top riding up was a fucking revelation, (never mind the fact that she could feel Kar’s nipples through her shirt and her legs were long and smooth and-)

Nico had absolutely no excuse for being this wound up, for the amount of heat that was currently residing between her thighs. They were so used to each other, they had done so much more than this less than 24 hours ago and yet….

What Karolina made her feel was still so big, it threatened to consume her. 

“You mean sexy, right?” Nico grumbled, but the effect was dampened by how breathless her voice had just become. 

“Yes,” Karolina grinned, her eyes blinking open, “very, sexy.” 

“Karolina! Nico!” Molly’s muffled voice was right outside their door, “ I am making waffles! Wake up!”

They groaned in unison. 

“Let them sleep, Karolina was up late last night-” Gert said. 

“-Ew.”

“Working,” Gert said, her voice an octave higher than usual, and Nico winced in solidarity, “She was working Molly.” 

“Oh right,” Molly sounded relatively chagrined, “Sorry Karolina!”

“It’s okay Molls,” Karolina rolled her eyes, “Saved by the Gert,”

“Yah.” Nico curled more soundly around Karolina, letting her eyes close.

“I am kind of hungry,” Karolina said, before she placed a kiss on Nico’s head. 

Nico groaned, before sitting up, stretching her arms over head.

“Come on let's get you pancakes then,” Nico groused, but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. 

*******************************************

Today was supposed to be a good day, Nico and Karolina both had a day off, and they didn’t even need to tend to some emergency, like a tourist finding Old Lace’s tracks in the woods and fainting. 

(It happened twice. Twice.) 

They could just hang out, run errands, and do all the stuff that would have been boring and mundane in Brentwood (maybe that is why it was so nice, boring had a whole new kind of charm to it, after being on the run). 

Karolina had the whole day planned, she told Nico, excitedly, over pancakes. They would scour the nicer consignment store in downtown, for a few things that they couldn't find at Goodwill (Nico needed a coat for winter, and Molly needed new shoes). They would pick up some groceries, while they were in the neighborhood, and start meal prepping for when everyone was up to their eyeballs in work for the next week. 

(How Nico became a goth turned meal prepper, made her head spin, and want to put on even more eyeliner).

Even with the domestic weirdness, it should have been fun, everything was fun with Karolina. 

“You looking for anything special,” Hailey (according to her name tag) asked, flashing a smile so white it looked fake.

Nico rolled her eyes, and tried to focus on searching through the coats on the wrack in front of her. 

It didn't work very well. 

“I am looking for something for my little sister.” Karolina flashed her a quick, absent minded smile (which even without its full wattage was more than a little blinding, honestly it was annoying). 

“Oh cute, how old-”

“Nico, look,” Karolina was lifting up a truly awful striped sweater, “Molly would love this.”

“Yah,” Nico forced a smile on her face, “She would.” 

"Well it's only nine dollars," Karolina mused, "I bet we could splurge-" 

“Well let me know if you need any help,” Hailey said, looking at Karolina and ignoring Nico completely, “ANY help at all.”

Then she winked. 

For God’s sake-

It should have been funny, how overly flirty this girl was being, and how completely oblivious Karolina was too it. 

Nico couldn’t even blame Hailey. 

(Well, not much). 

Karolina’s hair, cut even shorter than it had when they had been living in the van, now barely brushed against her shoulders and slightly curly at the ends, and her loose dress, (a five dollar goodwill find, from a trip or two ago), should have made her look more approachable. 

Instead she looked like Karlie Kloss, off duty. 

Nico felt like her insides were being tied into knots, while simultaneously a small animal was burrowing there. Karolina was her own person, there was no excuse to be annoyed. If Karolina could handle living with Nico's ex-boyfriend, she could deal with this girl thinking she was cute. 

Couldn't she?

“I am not finding anything,” Nico muttered, never mind the fact that she hadn’t looked through half of the wracks, “I’ll meet you outside.” 

“Nico what-” Karolina looked alarmed, as she rushed towards the door, but she couldn’t bring herself to look back. 

She was being ridiculous, she knew she was. It wasn’t like people hadn’t flirted with Karolina before; it was constant. 

But it was always men. 

What was wrong with her? Falling to pieces because some girl thought Karolina was pretty? 

Nico knew Karolina loved her, and she knew that. 

Why was she acting like this?

Nico leaned against the brick, closing her eyes,, right outside the store, feeling just as stupid as she felt… 

Jealous. She felt jealous.

“What was that about?” Nico opened her eyes, and Karolina was staring down at her, looking so worried. 

Nico felt even worse. 

“It was nothing.” 

“It was not nothing,” Karolina insisted, “You can tell me anything-” 

“That girl was flirting with you-”

“So?” Karolina asked, so matter of fact, “I am in love with you, and only you.” 

She said it like the simplest fact. The sky was blue. The earth revolved around the sun. Karolina loved Nico. 

It was like air being let out of a balloon, and Nico felt silly, more than anything else. 

“I love you, too,” Nico whispered. 

Karolina smiled, and leaned down and kissed her, once, then twice, but soft. The kind of kiss that made her feel unbearably loved. 

And it was like the sea was calmed, and everything was right. 

“I am not going anywhere,” Karolina whispered in her ear, before moving away, her smile breathtaking. 

But Nico couldn’t suppress a horrible thought. 

Maybe someday, Karolina would go away, and she would have absolutely no choice in the matter. 

****************************

Nico was in a fog the rest of the day. She could tell that Karolina was worried, but she didn’t push. They went through the day, just as it was planned. They grocery shopped, and cooked meals for the week, and ate a quiet dinner in an unusually empty house (everyone was working, and Molly was studying at the library in town).

It was only when they were doing dishes (Nico was washing, while Karolina was drying) that she asked what was wrong.

“It isn’t still about that girl-” Karolina’s brows wrinkled together.

“No, no” Nico shook her head emphatically. 

“Did I do something-”

“No, its just,” Nico looked down at the plate in her hands, and she couldn’t bring herself to say it. 

How scary a world without Karolina would be, how deeply she relied on her, and how without her, the world looked so bleak, she did not know how to face it. It was one thing to love someone, another to feel like your fates were tied together, and without the other, you would be irreparably harmed. 

“Let’s go swimming.” Nico said suddenly, placing the dish back in soapy water. 

“What?” Karolina looked bewildered, “It’s October-”

“It’s been 80 degrees the past two days-”

“Yah, but," Karolina spluttered. 

“Why not?” Nico said, her voice bordering on manic, “Why the hell not?” 

Karolina looked at her carefully, and Nico looked at her shoes. She needed to do something crazy, something to make her feel alive. 

Something to make her forget the fact that this could all be temporary. One day, maybe soon, standing next to Karolina and washing dishes, and all the other mundane tasks of this ordinary life they were building would come crashing down around their head's. 

“Nico are you okay,” She asked, her voice heartbreakingly soft.

“Probably not,” Nico hated how her voice broke, and Karolina's face seemed to break in response “You promised me you wouldn’t leave-”

“I won’t.” Karolina looked so sure, it broke her in a place she had not known existed. 

“You can’t promise that,” Nico looked down, “Neither can I. You know that.” 

The silence spread between them, and so did all those ugly truths that she wish they could erase. 

“Well then,” Karolina took a deep breath, her voice raw and horse. “We should swim then.”

“Yah?”

“Yah.”

Karolina leaned down and kissed her, hard, her hands still holding a dish towel, and Nico’s still wet and soapy. It was like being devoured, and Nico loved every second of it.

The world was still so scary, but she could put that aside for tonight, and get lost in this girl. 

This girl she loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am excited to update this story, and I hope anyone reading this, is as well! 
> 
> I want to add at least one more chapter, but it might be a little while :) 
> 
> Please comment, and kudos are always appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Cute? Yes, no, maybe so? 
> 
> Let me know in the comments! 
> 
> (I might write a second part to this, so let me know if I should.) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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